I'm Darina, I'm 18 years and I'm from Ukraine. Now it says a lot about a person when a person says that he or she is from Ukraine. Well, I wanted to share something about me, something that changed my life forever. And for me, everything started like eight years ago when I was 10. I was living my life, going to school, and one day I just heard gunshots. And that day everything changed. Like, in that time nobody knew what was going on. Nobody knew whose fault it is, who is aggressor, and what does Russia have to do with everything. aggressor and what does Russia has to do with everything. But I was just a kid and I wanted to feel safe so me and my family at first we moved to Russia for like a few months but then we came back to Ukraine. Like... How to tell this... Everything was still not okay. So my sister, some people took her to America to help her and I was taken to Germany. Alone without anyone. I was 11 at that moment. So I'm running from this half of my life, I think, already. I was 11 years old when I went to Germany on my own without anyone. My family was in my hometown at that time, so I was worried about them, but I couldn't do anything. Then when my hometown was liberated, I came back, my sister came back, and we tried to live like nothing happened, but we never could. And when I became older I wanted to do something I wanted to help people who suffered more than me so when I was 15 I joined volunteers group and every weekend I was going to the front line to help people with what I can, just to cook something to eat for them. Mostly I was spending time with children and to talk with everyone, to hug everyone, to wipe their tears. everyone to wipe their tears and I think there in that time I understood that some wounds some wounds they never can be healed so I spent there like two years of my life. I spent helping people there. And I saw a lot. One day I saw a man who just like at night he went outside to light a cigarette. And when he lit the cigarette, a sniper shoot at him. Because sniper saw a fire and he was shot. Like, this is the moment I learned that smoking is bad for your health. It's sometimes it's hard when you try to help someone. There are children, they can't smile. They just cry and you cannot just say everything will be fine because you know it's not because if their parents died yesterday how you can say that everything will be fine you just don't and you try to give them something, you try to hug them, but you cannot be instead their parents. So I did what I could, but on the inside I was hurting as well, because I also lost a lot of my friends that time. that time. Later I wanted to run away once again and I moved to Kyiv for studying and I thought that everything will be fine but my family was still there so I never forgot about it. And I was working and studying so I can send money for my family, send money for the people on the front line. But I was praying for them because I couldn't forget them. But one morning, living in Kiev, everything's fine. One morning I wake up from the call of from my sister when she says during a wake up it's here again and I know I wasn't even scared I was just really angry and why because I thought I thought that I ran from it I thought that this this is fine and I'm not very far but like safe distance but the truth is you can run wherever you want, but you never can outrun the pain. You never outrun the memories. You never outrun death. And when it started in Kiev, I just woke up, took some of my things, like water, one set of clothes, rope, and I don't know, something that I might need. Just in one backpack. And I left Kyiv because my boyfriend, he lived in Irpin. And the day, first morning, I went to Irpin. The worst decision in my life. Yet, in Irpin, we were living on the seventh floor. And from the window, I saw like one plane flying and other plane flies next this. And one plane is shooting at the other plane. It's like a movie, but you see it from your window. And it's like really loud, really scary. But you know that it's no time to run, so you just stand there and you just look, you just watch. That week we spent in the basement. Everything was like really loud. In the basement was dark, cold, a lot of people. But we were glad that every morning we wake up, we say, yes, we are alive. Thank you, God. Today I woke up in a cold, dark basement, but I woke up and that's good. Almost everyone got sick there because it's not normal for people to live like that and we decided to leave town we decided to leave town because it was unbelievable um gunshots all the time like bombs falling all the time, planes flying, you cannot live normally, you're just stressed all the time and you're scared for your life, for people near you. And one day we decided to leave. We didn't have a car, like normal car, so me and my boyfriend, we were like in the trunk of a car. my boyfriend we were like in the trunk of a car and we left uh Irpin we were safe but we almost all the time we were in the trunk we heard shots and we didn't see anything and it was like it was scary but we ended up fine as you can see my life but next day people who were like trying to leave town next day their railway was bombed train couldn't travel by this railway and cars were shot and one of people I know died that day. One of our, not close, but one of our friends. And we were thinking that could be us if we didn't left the day earlier, could be one of us. The very next day after that we watched news and we see a rocket got in our house in Irpin. Once again, we're thankful that we left on time. We were traveling in a trunk for three days, maybe. I don't remember exactly. But then I wanted to help my family because they were still at the bus region so I couldn't call them like for a week I didn't know where are they are they alive is everything okay it's like I cannot explain how it is when one week you don't hear from your family and you don't know are they safe are they alive or not it's the worst that can be that you don't know what's going on. I remember always when we were leaving for the frontline mission, we were talking to each other and we were saying, if you die, may your death be quick, because it's hard when you're dying a long time. Then I found contacts of Thomas from JQ University. They started program for Ukrainian students. They can give rooms, intermediary. And I had nowhere to go. Just I had one backpack and didn't know where is my family. What will be with my life? So I ran again. Now I ran to Austria. Like a lot of good people helping us all the time. They care. They helped us all the time. They care. They helped us to get here. They want to give us everything we need. But I think that even with so much care, so much love, my heart will never be whole again. I'm already in Austria almost three weeks. I think a lot of young people because of this program that offers us where to live and possibility to study. But I think elder people also come to Austria. I met someone like in in my normal, I was a teacher. And some of my students, they also came to Austria, but they live in Vienna. My sister is still in Kiev. My grandmother and grandfather and my aunt and a lot of my friends are in Slaviansk, Donetsk region. So some of my, some of my like colleagues from university was found in Bucha like this weekend, maybe I think almost everyone saw photos from Bucha from Rpin and one of our friends was found there so yes we're trying to keep in contact but sometimes you just text person and person doesn't reply you because maybe he's busy or he's sleeping, but you never know for sure. Maybe he's already dead.