Thank you. Oh, Emma! Emma, come on up. Thank you. Als wir uns zum ersten Mal begegnet sind Könntest du einfach beim Thema bleiben? Also, wie stellst du es genau vor? Wenn du dann am Vögel bist, muss ich dann ins Kino gehen oder bei einem Freund übernachten. Ist es so schwer, ernsthaft darüber zu reden? Wir können es auch sofort wieder lassen, wenn es nicht funktioniert. Wenn jemand eifersüchtig wird oder so. Und wir könnten natürlich Regeln aufstellen. zum Beispiel, dass wir es nicht in unserem Bett machen oder dass wir immer ein Kondom benutzen. Und keine Füße lecken. Regie führte eine junge Tiroler Nachwuchsregisseurin. In ihrer ersten Produktion inszeniert Emma Höll eine Sammlung von Briefen und Tagebucheinträgen, alle geschrieben von Menschen, die wissen, dass sie in wenigen Tagen sterben werden. Gefühlvoll erzählt die Regisseurin vom wilden Land einem emotionalen Raum des Abschieds. Dabei betont die Inszenierung vor allem die Schönheit jener Momente, von denen wir wissen, dass es die letzten sind. Du hättest was sagen können, bevor du angefangen hast. Hätte ich dich jetzt um Erlaubnis fragen sollen? Na, aber es betrifft mich ja schon. Wenn ich dich küsse, habe ich einfach das Gefühl, dass ich einen Aschenbecher ausleck. Wer sagt denn, dass wir uns küssen? dass wir uns küssen. Soll ich jetzt aufhören, oder was? Ich verstehe einfach nicht, warum er mit 25 noch zum Rauchen anfängt. Du veränderst dich doch auch. Was meinst du jetzt? Warum hast du mir dein Stück eigentlich nie zum Lesen gegeben? Du hast doch nicht gesagt, dass du drüber lesen magst. Ja, du hast mich auch keine Sekunde spüren lassen, dass du es willst. Wir schreiben halt auch sehr unterschiedlich. Oder? Der Luca ist ja so froh, dass du extra aus Wien gekommen bist. Er hat gestern mit seinem Papa telefoniert. Eigentlich hätte er ja wieder auf die Klinik sollen. Aber er wollte nicht weg, bevor du nicht da warst. Eine Handvoll Wochen noch. Sein 34 schafft er vermutlich nicht mehr. 34? Hast du nicht gesagt, ein Schulfreund? Aus meiner Schulzeit. Aber er war nicht mehr in meiner Schule. Ich kann's gleich morgen am Vormittag vorbeikommen, hat der Robert gesagt. Du hast gesagt, dem gehts grad nicht so gut. Dem gehts ja auch nicht so gut. Du hast mir jetzt nicht gesagt, dass der im Sterben liegt. Und dein Theaterstück, das war ja so gut, hab ich gehört. Sie haben es sogar im Radio gesagt. Die haben das Stück überhaupt nicht verstanden. Ach, die haben dich doch urgelobt. Vielleicht schaffen sie es ja doch einmal nach Wien. Das wollte ich dir persönlich sagen, Mama. Das im Schauspielhaus, es hat funktioniert. Du darfst noch ein Stück machen. Ja. Gratuliere. Dar darfst noch ein Stückchen machen. Ja. Gratuliere! Darauf müssen wir jetzt anstoßen. Und der Jonas, der schreibt jetzt seinen ersten Roman. Wow! Gratuliere! Darf ich mich schon fragen, worum es geht? Ja, es ist eine Novelle über einen Psychologen. Aha, spannend. Ja, der ist so spezialisiert auf Extremerfahrung, Traumabewältigung. Also zum Beispiel, wenn jemand seinen Ehemann verliert oder eine Krebsdiagnose bekommt oder herausfindet, dass sein Partner ihn jahrelang betrogen hat. Und es läuft super gut, aber dann verliert er plötzlich seine Ehefrau. Selbstmord. Und? Und er ist von der Tatsache, dass er plötzlich traumatisiert ist, so überwältigt, dass er aufhört, ganze Sätze zu bilden. Die Sprache fasert aus, er hört auf zu sprechen und wird stumm. Und das ist dann auch der Punkt, an dem die Novelle endet, weil er eben derjenige ist, der sie erzählt. Das ist so traurig, oder? Und dann bist du jetzt bald mit dem Studium fertig. Nein, ich hab noch ein Jahr. Ja, aber das ist ganz normal. Das macht niemand in meiner Studienzeit. Ja, und Jonas schreibt ja seinen Roman nebenbei. Dann seid ihr ja ein richtiges Künstler-Bau ihr zwei. Jetzt hol ich aber den Sekt, okay? Dann seid ihr ja ein richtiges Künstler bei ihr zwei. Jetzt hol ich aber den Sekt, okay? Könntest du bitte einfach damit aufhören? Jetzt wird gefeiert. einfach damit aufhören. Ich bin nicht gespannt auf morgen. Ich habe ihn ewig nicht gesehen. Könntest du bitte nicht einfach nackt auf meinem Balkon stehen? Ja, wieso? Ist doch nicht so viel, wie man sich vor seinen Nachbarn schämen muss. Bitte, geh rein und zieh dir was an. Wieso? Ihr Tiroler tut doch immer so naturverbunden. Oh, da ist die! Jonas!はっはっはようなすっ Nein! Nein! Ich muss morgen um sieben schon los, aber ich richte euch was her und stelle es in den Kühlschrank, okay? Ja. Gulland. So ist die Ohne Mangel. Was ist? Es geht nicht. Du kannst dir einfach nicht vorstellen, wie scheiße es sich anfühlt, wenn einer von uns beiden nach Hause kommt und dem anderen sagt, dass er es gerade mit irgendjemandem getrieben hat ich kann mir vorstellen dass sie sich nicht gerade gut fühlen nein du kannst es dir eben nicht vorstellen heißt das also nein I'm sorry. You bring me a fine coffee. Huh? That'll be me. Du klingst ganz anders. Wen? Ich hoffe, es ist okay, dass Emma mich jetzt mitgebracht hat. Ich kann wirklich jederzeit, also wenn es dir zu viel wird oder... Ich spüre nicht viel. Nur die Nächte sind ein bisschen zart. Kriegst du gar keine Schlafmittel? Doch. Aber die Träume... Aber die Träume... Emma... Ich würd gern deine Hand halten. Ja, sicher. Ich geh mal kurz eine rauchen. Ich glaube, wir sollten dann bald. Der Jonas kennt die Berge ja gar nicht. Ich dachte, ich zeige ihm das Sonnenkackköpfel. Möchtest du noch was von mir haben? Ihr habt die Gitarre noch. Ich kann auch gar nichts spielen. Das wolltest du doch eh immer lernen, oder? Du hast hier noch Zeit. Hat mich wirklich gefreut. Jetzt ist es schon genug, Luca. Es ist Zeit, dass du dich wieder hinlegst. Wir müssen jetzt dann wieder gehen. Hey, ist alles okay? Soll ich fahren? I love you. Jonas? Jonas? Jonas? Jonas! Jonas! Hva er det? Du willst dich doch trennen. Jag vet så hur jag är, Störst. Ich werd so egoistisch. Ich hab so Angst, dass ich einen Fehler mach. I'm sorry.はぁ… Wie ein Schwamm saugst du das jetzt auf und verarbeitest es dann Wenn das jetzt lang genug weg ist, um zu wissen, was es kann Man genießt dann deine Bilder, die fast keiner je versteht. Nur die Freude, sie zu sehen, ist wohl das, worum es geht. Du kennst deine Grenzen meistens, bist auf deinen Weg fixiert. Und was anfangs ungut aussieht, ist oft das, was dann gut wird. In der Mitte deines Kopfes schläft ein wachsamer Soldat, der sobald er in den Krieg zieht, alles aufgibt, was er hat. You know, you can imagine that you're a caterpillar and you're eating away at all the leaves that you want. But you wait for yourself to be a pupa and then you hope to be a butterfly, right? What if you're in a cocoon and then a bird eats you up? What do you mean? Why do you focus so hard on being a butterfly when you should just live in the present that you should just be a beautiful cocoon you know you should just be a beautiful caterpillar i'm christian my whole family is christian i was also really active serving in the drama ministry in my church for 10 years. I've always been queer, but being in conservative environments does not help me discover that because I just never considered it to be an option. You know, in church, they're always like, when you get married to your other half, you will blah blah blah. And it's always like a man. I mean, obviously, even if they say, love the gays, but not the sin. As a young teenager growing up, you're like, okay, what do I do with the information? I'll just tell everybody not to be gay. I was obviously in self-denial and it took me a while to come to terms with it because of this internal homophobia that always is within you. I think it just made me lose more faith in institutions than it does in God. My whole family has just kind of made sure that I at least reached the confirmation stage of being a Catholic growing up and then after that it's kind of just been like, you know, whatever. But I didn't really have a very intense, oh my god, I'm gay story. I mean, call it delusions or whatever, but sometimes even when I pray, right, I do ask God, is this real? And then maybe it's just me, but the response I'll get is, yeah. I did not grow up religious. My family went to church but wasn't actively religious. Then when I was 18, one of my teachers and close friends now brought me to church, which was an incredible, important emotional support pillar at that point in my life. I think I was going to church like three times a week and then I came back to school and then I fell out of contact with that church and then I just slowly stopped going. I still do have faith. Don't get me wrong, I still have faith but it's just does just going to a church really show like oh you have faith. why can't I just have faith on my own terms I hope I go to heaven I mean I wouldn't want to go to hell everybody says that hell is full of rock and roll and sex and drugs and I'm like you know I don't know about that I want to go to a place where there's flowers and like harp music also I don't just want to be in rock and roll. I would blow my brains out if I was listening to metal for eternity. I mean, I'm joking. I'm joking and I'm not joking because it's true. And sometimes my close friends joke about going to hell and I'm like, I've always been taught that hell is a terrible place. Like, why would you want to do that? Why would you say that? If there is a hell in the christian sense of the word i probably am going to it but i'm okay with it basically what got me to this point is believing that we are already in hell the world that we experience is already a version of hell so i think that so much of my acceptance of hell is the realization that nothing is unsurvivable. I've never considered that I'm going to go to hell, you know. If it is really as stringent as they say, I think we're all going to hell. Just solely believing in one thing isn't enough to send you to heaven. So it's like we're all going to hell. I'm going to hell, you're going to hell, we're all going to hell. Biblical hell scares me. It is painful, but a part of me doesn't really believe it's going to be that intense with tongues being ripped out. Thinking about heaven and hell is a very future-forward way of thinking about the world. And if being in art school for the last four years has given me anything, it's a sense of looking at the present, even in a secular way, both as like a person who's going into art making and probably will not have a stable long-term job and as somebody who's queer and therefore will not marry, which is a huge component of Singapore society. And therefore, as a result, we'll probably not have children. And also on top of that, we'll not own a home and we'll probably be moving around a lot throughout my life. When you take away those traditional milestones of adulthood, everything else kind of goes up in flames as well. You kind of learn to deal with the present as it exists. I think a lot of it also just stems from being afraid to open up that question, being afraid to know what the answer might be. I'm here on earth. I have this life. I'm not going to be miserable. I don't want to be single all my life. Well, I could marry a man, but do I really want to marry a man man I would say the word is unlearning unlearning relearning that the world is different and I don't know if I believe in following such strict rules anymore believing what people in church tell me about life maybe a final question would be like are you sure and I don't know Please watch to the end, I put a lot of effort into this. Months of work, not days. And painful self-reflection as well. I have seen over 100 clinicians, and by that I mean mental health professionals, doctors, nurses, therapists. They all missed one thing, my neurotype, autism. I'm autistic, and you haven't told me so. Although it's my birthday, I don't particularly love this day. If anything, I get quite anxious, nervous and feel a lot of societal, but also in my own kind of being, pressure to have the greatest day possible. I'm kind of tired, to be honest. And I wanted to nap, not to fall. My name is yours. And here's an homage to the painfully untold stories of all late diagnosed autistics that yet have to discover their neurodivergence. An homage to the pain of the future. And this is how through a series of unfortunate events, magical things can get revealed about who you truly are. Throughout my life I was diagnosed with eight different conditions, mental illnesses. I'm just so fucking angry. What upsets me most is that none of all the mental health professionals I've ever met told me that they picked up on it. They didn't put two and two together. I am a forest. Because of all the trees that were poking up and springing out of the ground, they didn't see the forest anymore. Because of all the trees I was packing up and springing out of the ground, all kind of trees growed in me. And I'm so angry. The world feeds me life and poison I want. Oh, don't I wish they'd examined the ground I am made out of. What foolish endeavor they dragged on me. Idiots. They should have told me so. My birthday. It's my solo return. And I don't like all the pressure that comes with birthdays. Of having an amazing day. Being happy. I usually cry every year on my birthday but this year not yet. I cried a lot in the past few days, weeks. I mean, just a bit of extra crying next to the meltdowns. I'm a YouTuber now, for real this time. I'm taking this job, my job, seriously. It is good, it is pressure, but not the bad kind, the fun kind. But that I'm a late diagnosed black autistic non-binary being on the autism spectrum, it's not hard to stomach. It's like a puzzle that you feel like you're kind of finished, but then someone comes and destroys your whole picture, throws, takes all the puzzle pieces, smashes it down on the ground and adds ten more puzzles and says, now do it again. And now you're sitting there with what you thought you did know and you thought you're getting to know and getting a hang of so well was not treated in a way how it should have been treated. I didn't treat myself how I should have treated myself because I didn't know. I didn't know that autistic meltdowns are a very common thing and that that's what I'm experiencing. I always called them crying fits, crying cramps. But I'm actually just autistic. I am a forest. Forest, forest. All kind of trees grow within me. The world feeds me life and poison at once. Idiots. They should have told me so. Okay, thank you. The recording is complete. Everyone. That's a wrap. That's a wrap! ¶¶ B-L-O-N-E-O B-L-O-N-E-O B-L-O-N-E-O B-L-O-N-E-O B-L-O-N-E-O B-L-O-N-E-O Bottega Veneta, I go to Bottega for breakfast I'm giving him cunt Double take I'm giving em cunt Double take I'm giving em stud Bite down, pipes down There are ladies at lunch Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cunt Cuntunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Demonstrations and riots are ongoing in Glomedale following the alleged uptick in black missing persons. People line the streets as LAPD readies the blockade of a small business being targeted. Shop owners deny any allegations. GONG Get that natural groove Let your throat loose To breathe It's the truth No fuss or lush. But here's the secret That the truth unfold Black woman's power The ingredient Bold From frizz to fab It's a fact Relax Degrees Takes your style to the max. The ultimate no-lie relaxer. Now, with no harmful chemicals, for less chance of extreme burning. Did you see that? Yeah, we're supposed to put that stuff in our hair? It has more disclaimers than Percocet. No, that. You heard the man. You can use it now since you don't have that toxic stuff you're always complaining about. Lye was subbed by calcium, lithium, and sodium hydroxide. all of which are known to burn, irritate the skin, and, oh yeah, are extremely toxic to humans. Toxic evil replaced by toxic evil. How do you even know that? I read the container. The fact that you don't? Let us say a silent prayer for your scalp. Whatever. Beauty is pain. Help me! Help me! That's your scalp. Begging for mercy. Okay, you don't hear me complaining about that Cicely Tyson looking hairstyle you have up in your head. And at least my hair products are from this decade. I mean, old people don't even use that do goop stuff. Do grease. Right. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. What? It was just, it was just- What? The grease, it was just... What? The grease, it was just full and now it's empty. I don't know if you know this, Zen, but when you use a product every day, it tends to run out. I swear, that stuff is seeping into your brain. Leni. What? Tell Ms. Dunley I, um... I caught the flu. I'm going to 59 Jones Street. Glomingdale? Zing. I'm going during school hours. Just cover for me, okay? But... Hello? I'm sorry. Hey, this is it! I'm sorry. Storbritannia Hey, hey, that's the last shipment. Be careful. Hey, I said be careful with that. Y'all having a party? I mean, how everyone's dressed. It's just really... dope. It's really dope! Whoa, I'm not on anything. I'm not on anything! Do you know something? No, no, no. Dope, it means cool. I'm not on anything. Do you know something? No, no, no. Dope it means cool. Look, I'm just here for a tub of... degrees. Yeah. You and everyone else in this damn town. We are charging a premium, because all the revolutionaries are down with it of course. Premium? Where are you from? Torrington. I dig the hair. It's like uh, oh it's like that chick from movie 10 but like to the max. Thank you but as for the prices? Do you think I could get my hair like that? All swirly? Okay, look dude, I gotta go. How much is it gonna cost? I don't know.... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. Sorry. Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Oh. Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? Cash or card? I'm tired. We're sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again. Thank you. L'Occitane Thank you. S.A. Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok I love you. Elizabeth, vamos lá. O que você tem é um bloqueio do canal lacrimal. Isso é muito comum em recém-nascidos. Já nos adultos, o bloqueio do canal lacrimal pode ser devido a um trauma, uma infecção, ou na maioria das vezes, por causa desconhecida. Há quem chame essa condição de doença do ator. Os atores passam a vida buscando a mentira mais humana, algo entre ser e parecer, congelando e derretendo emoções até que elas se cristalizam e tudo fica a um toque de se quebrar. Nå er det en av de fleste stående stående i landet. Muito cuidado nos próximos três meses. Nå er det en av de fleste stående stående i landet. Elisa? Você tá aí? Wo ist der Talib? Eu estava na oftalmologista. Tudo bem? Por que seus olhos estão cobertos? Quando eu acordei de manhã, mal consegui abrir os olhos. Parecia que eu estava numa tempestade de areia. Acontece que nos meus canais lacrimais, as lágrimas viraram bolinhas de gude. Então a médica teve que abrir os canais e tirar as bolinhas, uma por uma. Abre os olhos. Abre os olhos. Abre os olhos. O que você vê? As árvores. Os frutos, as copas das árvores balançam, mas não sinto vento na minha pele. O que mais? Vejo todo o jardim. É como andar por dentro de uma imagem. Ou de uma memória. Sim. Nosso coração era assim na infância. Sem paredes e teto. Só jardim. Então é uma memória. Não exatamente. É o que existe lá fora. Só isso. Consegue ver o céu? Não. A luz machuca meus olhos. Tudo bem. Vamos voltar lá pra dentro. 1 tbs of butter 1 tbs of flour 1 tbs of baking powder 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of baking soda 1 tbs of salt 1 tbs of pepper 1 tbs of pepper 1 tbs of pepper 1 tbs of olive oil 1 tbs of olive oil Elisa? O que foi? Eu andei pensando naquilo que a oftalmologista disse. Não precisa se preocupar com isso. Isso não é tarefa sua. Obrigada. Eu acho que descobri o que aconteceu com as suas lágrimas. Mas preciso de mais alguns testes. Quer ver? Eu não sabia que tinha um laboratório aqui. Eu que desenhei. Música É, as emoções estão todas misturadas. Como eu imaginava. Você lembra quando isso começou? Eu acho que eu sempre fui assim. Embaixo dessa camada tem muitas outras. Talvez você só não se lembre. Mas se eu tirar todas as máscaras, o que sobra? Ai, Elisabeth. Eu acho que eu não quero lembrar. Sente alguma dor? Eu consigo ouvir as lágrimas se formando. Mas você precisa parar de engolir o choro Mas eu não faço de propósito Eu acho que eu esqueci como chorar Mas o que você faz quando fica triste? Não sei Eu espero. Mas e se você não puder esperar? Tem anos que eu só choro com personagens. Mas você não é atriz. É. Eu não sou. Ahá! Encontrei. Kepala Thank you. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Kepala Ketua kota, kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihubungi dengan kota yang dihub I love you. 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... 아... Thank you. Terima kasih telah menonton! Thank you.