🎵 🎵 They have no clue, their customers are dead 🎵 🎵 They are just gorgeous 🎵 🎵 From beautician to mortician 🎵 🎵 Was it the right decision? From mutician to mortician They are just gorgeous Just gorgeous These people are wild! Okay, this one. So I was delighted in sense, because I could have never afforded to bury them both. A boo hoo. But then, oh, but then I saw both of the funeral home owners at the funeral looking like circus clowns trying to enter a beauty pageant? You should not read that. Just don't read that. Oh well, too late. I am reading this and I don't like it and I will reply to it. No you will not. Stop it. You cannot start a fight with people on the internet. You need to stop that. But they started it. Come on, they're calling us circus clowns, Baba. The audacity. Well, to be honest, I feel like you could turn it down and not lift the makeup, so maybe they have a point here. How dare you? Little miss, I still wore a perm in 2024. It's a classic hairdo, okay? Oh, and yet I'm still replying to this! No! Stop it! I told you without replying! I will reply to this! No! You're first! You're first! You piece of... Oh! Oh, hi! Welcome to Just Gorgeous Beauty for Dead People Funeral Home. How can we help you? Um, where do I put them? Uh, put what now? The dead bodies? The what? Isn't this just gorgeous? Beauty for dead people funeral home. Yeah, but we didn't order any dead people. I have another job and I'm not gonna take them back home, so where do I put them? Oh my God. Did you forget to check our online commission board HTML page? No, I just put it on automatic. So everybody who will order a funeral will have it picked up by a third party delivery company. So you're from the third party delivery company. Yeah. Ladies, I don't have all day, so can you please sign this and tell me where the dead people go? Now what the hell are we gonna do with all these dead bodies? Oh my god, Baba, there's so many orders. How and why did this happen? I don't know. What is this? It's so much. You need to breathe. No, no, keep breathing. What's going on? Girl, are you okay? No, I'm not okay. I mean, look around. It's just too much. We're just three people. How are we ever gonna do this? It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine, don't you worry. Look, you're always complaining that we need more business and bam! Look at all these corpseses. Yeah, but it's sad people. They have to go out to the funeral before they rot. I know, I know. We just get Georg to start prepping them up. I'll work on their wig cup. You can start working on their hair. You can just pop on a wig. And it's all going to be fine. We just need to find a system. And I know how much you love a system. I do love a good system. That's right. You do. You do love a system. And it's all gonna be fine. Oh my god, what are you doing? Stop that or you're going crazy. I cannot take it anymore. There are more orders coming in! Then we just close the online shop, that's it! I don't think we can or should afford to do that. What do you mean we can't? We've been working all day long on these dead bodies! How many more do you think we can do? How many more? How many more? Tell me! Yeah, you see our prices are so low we're barely making any money. Okay, but why are the prices so low if you ask me? To outprice the competition. So you mean to tell me that for now we're basically making no money? Well, not until we crushed all our competition in the funeral business. But for how long do you think we can keep doing this? Well, if everything goes according to plan, I hope it will only be a year. A year? A fucking year? Oh, no, no, no. You see, this is why I do not fuck with the books. Oh no, not that bitch. Just go into this beautiful little funeral home. How can we help you? Yeah, yeah, don't even try to bother. Okay, what do you want, Liza? You look awful. Gonna die soon. Need a funeral. So funny. I came here because I heard about this place, but I just could not believe it. So? You just came in to tell us that? No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. No. No. I have a business proposition. Ha! Oh, you little conniving, backstabbing bitch. Oh, you think we don't know the truth about you? Why they call you Lazy Liza on the street? And you think you can come in here, stomp down the hall, and ask us for a business proposition? Ha! She's so funny. Isn't she funny? No, it's okay Baba, it's okay. We do not have to pretend to be friends in here. Well, go on! So, I came here to ask for a favor from you two bitches. Cause I'm having a little date in like two hours, but I have nobody to watch my kids. Oh, so you think we look like a kindergarten and there's little fences around our faces and slides going down? Listen, I got something in return. So, my dear husband is on life support right now. And I promise you right here, right there, if he dies, you two can handle the funeral. So... What? So you think we're just gonna go and take care of your husband's death? Shut up! No, we're listening. We're listening. You see, this man was always living on the edge. You understand? Paragliding, base jumping, bull riding, scissoring. You understand? So for his funeral, he wants himself prompt up, bouncing on the handstand position in his motorbike, which ironically put himself on a life support when he tried to change the tire and the tire fell on him. he tried to change the tire and the tire fell on him. This man saved a lot of money to have his wished realized. You understand? So I should pay whatever it costs? Oh, and the bike should be on top or suspended in the air like every 10 seconds doing a back flip like that. But you two figure that out right? I'm sure. We gotta do it we gotta do it. I do not agree to this. Just listen. I mean, maybe those kids can help us a little bit with all the dead bodies in the bag and on top of that we can get the money from the funeral. So yes. Yes, we'll do it. But I'm not changing any diapers or so. Okay, great. I'll get the kids. Kids! Kids! Kids! Ah! Kids! Kids! These are my kids! What the hell? These are your kids? Hi kids, how old are you? Well, if you ask me, they look well into their 30s. How dare you speak to my kids like this! Oh, I think it pooped its pants. Latiana, can you support me here? Oh, no. I said I was not handling any diaper situation or any doo-doo situation. No poopoo, no caca. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I gotta rush to my date. You be nice to my kids. Okay. Bye! okay, okay. I gotta rush to my date. You be nice to my kids. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye, mom. Bye. Bye, mom. Be nice. Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, honey. Oh my God, this is fun. Oh, I love it. It's gorgeous. I live for this! Hi! I guess. Okay, so... Hi, hello. So kids, have you ever been to a funeral home? No. So kids, have you ever been to a funeral home? So you are basically the losers that can do anything, right? What is this stinker talking about? I don't think your mom would like you to talk like that, wouldn't she? But that's what our mother said that the only reason that this is a funeral home is because no living person would like to be caught dead looking like what you guys call makeup and hair. Well, it seems like your mother has been running her mouth all over town. And just like her, you two little shits. Hey, um, kids, do you know how to do makeup? You guys are lame. Can we see some dead people? And this, kids, is how you turn a ghoul into a cool... Oh, a cool... a cool dead body! Okay, the two of you suck, but this kind of slays. Hey! Don't do this! Don't do this! Don't be so lame! Just when I thought you guys are a little less sucky. Okay, maybe this one... Yes, it's okay. Can I take a selfie with the corpse? Can I take a selfie too, please? Okay, girlies, you can take a selfie with the corpse, but do not tell anyone. Yes, it's at work! let's do it! okay kids I think you're old enough to know how to do makeup right? oh I think they're well past their due time well better than you you old people okay so you guys wouldn't mind helping us out? No, I dig that. Dead people are so cool. Okay, I think we really need to keep an eye out for this one. Okay, anyways, kids, let's grab a dead body and some makeup and start working. And once we're done, you all can get some pizza. Okay, but I only do gluten-free. That's gross. You want me to be fat or what? That is so cool. Hello, Chairman. If I ever want to have kids, just hit me with a sledgehammer. If I ever want to have kids, just hit me with a sledgehammer. But you know, they're kind of cute. I mean, they're like very special in a way, but nevertheless kind of cute. Oh, would you look at that? I think we're finished. I can't believe I'm saying this. Isn't that amazing? The only thing that worries me is where is Liza? It's been four hours already. Hey old ladies, we're hungry here. Hey old ladies, we are hungry here. Well you said you didn't want to look old like us. And carbs make you look old. So what's the deal? So then feed us something nutritious? We're still kind of growing. I hope you won't. I mean, yeah, we don't want to look as old as you, but we can still eat something. But I don't know where your mother is. She's probably somewhere out there boring some poor old fool to death putting him on life support. That little... Hey girls what about going out to eat our treat huh? But what about waiting for Liza to come back? Also, the first corpse pickup is coming soon, so we should probably be here and wait for that. You know what? I will take the key and put it under the welcome mat and I will text it to Lizzy Liza and then you can just come in and wait for us. And I will also text it to the pickup guy and then he can come in and pick up the corpses. So? Okay, that sounds good, right? I could go for some food right now. Yeah, okay girls, let's go! Oh, finally! I don't know what to do. Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! Kids! My head! My head is killing me! My head is killing me! My head is killing me! I better pop in some painkillers I better pop in some painkillers My head is killing me. I better pop in some painkillers before I have to deal with my kids again. Oh. Thank you. Thank you. © transcript Emily Beynon you