They have no clue, their customers are dead They are just gorgeous From beautician to mortician Was it the right decision? From mutician to mortician They are just gorgeous Just gorgeous Ah! Stop it! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. let you in. I will not! Open the door now or I'll call the police on you! Not letting the pure reincarnation of evil through my door cannot be a crime. You stole my mask! Look at that! That is thievery! And it will be prosecuted! Now open the door, you idiot! What? I'm typing in the police. I'm in my phone. As we speak. Goddamn it, come in. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! You! Are you happy now? Well, do I look happy to you? Well, honey, with that face of yours, I think it's really hard to tell. You dirty, poor little proletarian. Why the hell don't you focus on this absolute dumpster that you call a funeral home and leave my mascot alone? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You were the one that put this horrible and bizarre looking mascot right in front of our doorstep. What should I do? Thank you for it. Plus, these crazy flyers that are made for children? For literal children? Not only that, they are warning them from coming into our place. You're literally stealing our costume eyes. So what? This is a free country. I'm allowed to advertise whatever I want. For children? That is insane. That is even a new law for you. Even children die. Or at least their parents do. And if you would have read that flyer, you would know that we also offer funerals to pets and stuffed toys. But you cannot read, I guess. You are crazy! Well, you are crazy since you clearly cannot see the opportunities of where to generate a new client. I would rather end up on the streets than stoop down to your levels. My dear, don't worry. You will. Awful woman. You will. Awful woman. You will. Get out of here. Bitch. What an awful woman. Oh. Now let's get back to what's real and what's good. Hello-hmm, mm-hmm. Hello, Prince Charming 20041678910. Of course I will go on a date with you. Oh! Will you? Did you not read on my bio? It says I'm not into fogos, and you look fucking fogly. Oh, shit, it'sly. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Hello. Welcome to Just Gorgeous. Girl, yes, I'm working. I'm super busy. What do you want? What? How is the ladies in business conference? I'm sure you're enjoying yourself. Sure, I'm here working. I'm so busy right now. Like, oh my god. Stop it, bitch. Yes, I ordered the embalming fluid. What do you think I am, a lazy slob? Hey, if you think that I'm a lazy slob, that is more a you problem. slob that is more you problem. Maybe what you need is more days away from here. Yeah yeah yeah. Oh oh oh somebody's coming in. Gotta go. Nope. Mm-mm. Can't talk to you. Gotta go. Welcome to JustGorgeous. How can I help? Gotta bye bitch. She is so annoying. She is so annoying. What is that smell? Oh, no. It's coming from the embalming room. Oh, it's getting stronger. Oh, disgusting. Oh, that smells so bad! What is wrong with you? What is happening? Now I have to check you and do extra work that I was not supposed to be doing! Okay, oh god, it smells so sick! Okay, alright, let me check you. Let me just... Oh! Oh no! Oh! Oh! It's leaking! No! That is disgusting! What is happening? Okay, I gotta go. What is happening with the corpse? It smells like a rotten cheese that was left out in the sun for like five weeks. What? You couldn't do your job because there was no embalming fluid? Okay, but why didn't you tell me? Oh, you did? Are you sure you told me? Okay, you did tell me. All right, okay. Right, right, right. Oh my god, what am I gonna do now? And where do I find embalming fluid, Georg? You don't know? It's always just there? Great, great, great. Well, it seems I cannot rely on anyone. Huh? Oh, great. Embalming fluid. Damn it. How am I gonna find embalming fluid now? Now let me think, La Pera. You can do this, girl. Just because Baba's not here doesn't mean that you can't do this. I mean, yeah, she's always getting the embalming fluid, but I can also do that myself. Ah, damn it. Where am I gonna get embalming fluid now? Wait a minute. Yes, I have a perfect idea! And the champagne! Make sure to order like a dozen. No, make it four dozen. No, make it four dozens. Four dozens? Okay, Miss Towers. Welcome to Closie Towers Funerals. May I be of your assistance? Madam? Oh, hello! Oh, hello! My name is Brunhilde de Bruzer. I'm going to be your personal funeral advisor today. And this is the Miss Closest Hours. You should be lucky that personal funeral adviser today. And this is the Miss Lucy Sowers. You should be lucky that she is here today. Welcome, my dear. Brunhilde, go and get Mrs... Oh, my name. Right, right. It's my name. Oh, God. My name is Lily Coffins, yes. Yes, it's Lily Coffins. Lily Coffins, yes! Yes, it's Lily Coffins indeed. Lily Coffins. Mrs. Lily Coffins, darling, yes. Be respectful, I am happily married and so much in love. Mrs. Lily Coffins is your name, huh? Yes. Well, don't you want to take after her to scare her off and head, maybe? Oh, I'd rather not. No, no, I'd rather not, darling. In a few days, Lucy Sowers Funer, we handle thousands of funerals each day. There is no shame in your tears. Thousands? Oh, shh. I mean to say thousands of funerals each day. Oh, you must make a fortune here. The hosts, they don't talk about their finances. Well, you have signed a customer agreement, agreement but yes let's just say we're loaded so you want some champagne oh my darling usually i do not partake in such libations but if it's a real champagne no of course it is real champagne i think i am Of course it is real champagne, how nice do you think I am? I'm not married. It's a must, darling. Thank you. Thank you very much. Now. It's good to see you. Oh, this is cute. Oh, jeez. Jeez, oh, thanks. Oh. It's real white margarine. It's from the new Louis Couton coffin collection, Death by Llamours. Did you say Louis Couton? Yes, very expensive and very rare. Oh, I didn't mean to know that it sits in the Huvain line of coffins. How marvellous! And the detailing quite marvellous indeed. Oh, my dear, no offence, but you don't really look like you're eating at the morning. Or the chest. I don't know about such things. Oh, well... Yes, but... Come, let's have a seat. I must. I must. Please. I'm quite parched. Oh. Ah. Please. Oh, thank you very much, darling. Oh, wow. Look at that. Oh. Oh. That must be like what drinking puke oil must be like, darling. You know what? I'll drink another one something. Yes, yes, now that you're already here. Yes, thank you. I'll go on. You know, I can see you're very, very thirsty. Oh, a little pudged. Yes, I'm a little pudged, thank you. But no, I'm all right, thank you so much. Actually, one more wouldn. Yes, I'm a little pudge, thank you. But no, I'm alright, thank you so much. Actually, one more wouldn't hurt, would it? No, no, I don't think so, right? Thank you so much, Brunhilde. Oh, yes. So, my dear, how can we help you today? You know, we here at Flossie Sauer's Funerals, we offer all kinds of funerals, special funeral services, as well as special funeral land plannings, and also a very special luxurious funeral package with special VIP guests. And of course, we also do offer a... How do I say? Special drama package if you really want to go to the bang! Oh, bang! Wow, that sounds rather special indeed, doesn't it? Darling, darling, would you please allow me to entertain myself with the funeral drama package? Oh, my dear, let me tell you. You know, when my late wife, Herb Burnham, of Wellington, from Schoenebeck-Hemingway, the fourth died, you know. Oh, when she died, I made the terrible, terrible, terrible mistake of hiring the wrong funeral home. Oh, darling, are you sure there were that many? Don't interrupt me, swimmers. I don't want to watch this big thing go. Oh, these terrible, terrible, terrible women. They absolutely ruined my wife's funeral. They wrecked it. I ruined my wife. They wrecked me. And every night, when I tried to sleep, I just pictured my wife's dead body falling out of the carpet in front of everyone. Oh my dear. And me right behind. Oh, something hurts. Oh baby. And since that day, all my friends in the Kuwaitians has ever want to talk about this horrible, horrible event. You know, after such a high back at your lease, I thought to myself, it had a really great dramatic effect. It won't. Oh, and now we at Blue Cesar's Funeral, we offer actresses who come to your very own funeral and to make a whole big drama. Oh, they will? Oh, isn't that great? Oh yes, we actually offer three levels of drama. Yes, we do. We start with level one. Level one includes up to three different actresses that are all very attractive and mysterious. And they will throw themselves over your dead body wearing... Why didn't you pick me? Why not me? Oh, sweet chance. It's enough. You've done enough. Oh, and then of course we have level two, in which there will be an entire group of invitees and of course guests at your funeral fighting over who loved you more right until it comes to a big, big brawl. Oh, a brawl. I love a brawl. Oh, yes. And then of course we have level three. It is a whole TV-style drama. Yes, which will include you and your dead body falling out of the coffin right in front of everyone. What did you say? What? Yes. Doesn't that sound exciting my dear? Think I do hope, Lucisaurus Experience, your entire funeral will be modeled exactly after what happened to me. Right, right. So, let me get that straight, darling. So you mean to tell me that you went through this horrible and terrible and traumatizing story, yet you sell it to other customers? Ah, you know, people like me, we don't dwell in the past. We seized opportunities and then we just went this loose out of me. I don't know if you're very educated in this topic, but you know, rich people, they know how to turn tragedies into possibilities. Right. I tell you what, darling, I tell you what. I have been suddenly succumbed by a need of a water closet. Yes, I need the loo. Could you please point me to the nearest loo darling? Please follow me. Oh yes, I must piss in the pot. Please take me in there darling. Isn't it here? Oh come on, purple. She said she would need some time, because she would rather not have me in front of the door. Which is a secret. You know, something is really off with that woman, but I just cannot point it out exactly. Oh, even this room is well designed. Go on. I wonder if it's also... No, maybe it's her... ugly poor people clothing. Ah! Put it in their eye, it's so funny. Yeah, it's probably that. Yes. Oh! I wonder if it's also who we could talk to. Maybe it's better if we go to the back and see what she's doing up there. Here's the embalming fluid. Yes, come to mama. Of course, of course. Mrs. Crawford? Oh, no, I can explain. Oh, what is going on here? Hey, wait! You wait right there! No, do you hear that? There's someone at your door. Must be going. What? I don't know who you are. What? I did! I don't want to go in your house! No! What? I know who you are. No, I can explain, I told you. You are the undercover reporter from the magazine Funeral Home today, right? Oh! I have to say I'm sorry to be a fan of your magazine. I just love how you sneak into Aunt's expecting funeral house. Oh, oh darling. It's just a job, but it's also my passion. And? And what? Oh, what do you want to see? I can show you every nook and cranny of this funeral home. I can give you the whole tour. You will soon see it is all in perfect condition. Oh, well, my dear, now that my cover has been blown, I mean to say that this was not the way it was supposed to be, I really must be leaving. I'm a prize to the Lou. Please, please, don't go. But... Nobody has to know that your cover has been blown. Ned. I am sure we can have some kind of arrangement, if you know what I mean. An arrangement? Yes. Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh, did you mean 500 euros? No. Oh! Oh, Lord, it's raining in here. Oh, my God. Oh, Gunnhilde. Oh. Oh, you know, 590 euros is not so much. Let's say maybe 1,000. 1,000? Oh, my dear, I think with 1,000 euros, I'd be ignored by journalistic standards indeed. Yes, yes, let me get some more. Okay, right Darling Let me tell you darling I will see you tomorrow I really must be leaving I'll send the photographer So right right. See you on the cover of the magazine. Oh, wait a second. You what? I am a woman of honour. You are? Yes, my dear. This was not just a bribe to put me on the cover of the magazine. It was not? No, of course not. You will come with me and Grinilda now, and we will show you around. All right. Come on, my dear, come on. I have lived much to bear here with you. I don't know what to say. But I'll help you now. No, no, we'll show you everything. Oh, really? Come on, let's go. Oh, is that all you've got? Oh, really? Oh, oh, there you go. Oh, is that a nautonail? It's been like hours walking around your establishment. I know. So now you know that Friuli Lucy's house in Greenwich North has only their best interest at heart. Oh, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. I love it. I tell you dear, I would much rather live here than in my stinking place. I do, I do. It is so beautiful. But darling, I really must be leaving. So I'll see you soon, darling, okay? So you send them soon darling, okay? So you send them over tomorrow, right? Send who what where? The photographers. Oh, you're sure? They'll be here tomorrow darling, they'll be here. Okay right darling. Don't you want a bottle of champagne to go? Well, I think, you know... You know it's not a fly-h item, it's just a little present. Well if it's just a little present I can't say no, can't I? Oh God! Oh no! Oh! Oh! Oh, sorry! Mrs. Sowens, please no! Oh God, please! What the heck are you doing here? I'm giving back my money! No, Mrs. Sow Howard, please take it! It's not something I can explain! Mrs. Howard, please! We don't have embalming fluid in our phone! Please, can you please take it? You really come over here just to steal embalming fluid? You came over here just to mess with my business? No, no, no, Mrs. Howard, no, no! You see, we don't even have an bowling flip. Please don't tell Babita. She's gonna kill me. She finds out that I... Please, let me just take it. Let me just take it. Let me just take one. Don't take it. I want it. Please! You're very desperate. I am very desperate. Can't you see? Oh, well. I'd? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Free labor, I'm sure you like that. Free labor. I can do your makeup girl. I can do you. Please, just get up. Stop embarrassing yourself. Maddie will already have it. What? You know, now that I think about it, there is actually one thing you could do for me. Oh no. Oh. Oh. Hello. Hello? Hello? Latata, I'm back. Hey, Baba. Time for you to take over here now. Why are you dressed like that? Girl, I'm doing this little favor for Mrs. Sowers or something. Don't ask me about it. But I'm glad you're back. Lucy Sowers? Why would he do her a favor? Oh, girl, don't ask too many questions. We got into this thing, it got complicated, but oh, oh, oh. I'm glad you're back. I'm going. See you later. Oh. Oh, God. Lock the door. Oh. Oh. Bye, Barbara. Oh God, lock the door. Bye, Bible. Thank you.